I Like to be Random at Times

Hello there reader!  It has been a while, I know.  I am sorry about the lack of posts in the past couple of weeks.  Life has been keeping me crazy busy and every single day, right about the time I can sit and write my eyes tell me no, go to bed.  And I agree instantly. 

Now that some of the craziness has subsided for a minute I thought I should write.  But I don’t really have a topic in mind.  I do, however, have some random thoughts about some of the happenings in this life of mine.  So I will share some random, likely chaotic thoughts with you. 

Some of these thoughts are about situations that, while emotionally important to me, are not my stories to tell.  Those thoughts will seem vague and that is by design.  This is a place for my stories, not anyone else’s.  Others are from situations that are so early in their infancy that there isn’t yet a story to tell.  But there may someday be one.  We will just have to wait and see.   And others are really just random thoughts flying through this brain of mine.  It happens.  Welcome to my world. 

Randomness shall commence in 3…..2……1…….

Please don’t come at me with words, actions, or expressions that convey that you know my secrets.  It is annoying.  You don’t know anything.  Because if you did, you would know that when I am asked a direct question I will always give a direct answer.  Just because you think I have a secret does not mean that it is secretive to me.  I don’t like to lie about who I was, who I am, or who I want to be.  While I may not be proud of everything I have ever done or every choice I have ever made, I am not inclined to lie or hide anything.  I prefer honesty because with honesty there is no need to remember who knows what or how to keep stories straight.  My life is my life.  I will live it how I want.  I will own my mistakes.  And I will be honest; sometimes painfully so.  That is my choice and I stand by it. 

If a man wants to be in your life, he will find a way to be there.  Period.  If you didn’t hear from him it is because he didn’t want to call.  It really is that easy.  I am pretty sure there was a movie made with this exact theme flowing through it.  On a related note, if a man wants to be in your life and you already have a man, either ignore the pursuer or drop the current man before moving forward.  Trust me on this.  Been there, done that.  There is little chance that it will turn out pretty.

Children should never be collateral damage in your poor choices.  I know it happens.  Again, been there, done that….in a way.  There are situations in this life that are so tempting and so hard to walk away from that this one becomes a really tough one because there is always a way to rationalize your choices.  If you want to rationalize, that is up to you.  Just know that children pick up on far more than you may think.  And they are constantly learning from the choices they see adults make. 

When you think you are keeping something from someone you love in order to spare their feelings, you are most likely wrong.  What you really are doing is telling them that you do not fully trust them, you do not feel completely confident in their love, or you are too selfish to own up to the responsibility of your choices.  Quit thinking you know what is best for everyone and just take advantage of the love you are shown and unconditionally given. 

People can change.  People have the ability to adopt completely new mindsets, to make smart choices on a consistent basis, to become the person they always hoped they would be.  Try not to give up on people until it is truly a matter of safety, health, or sanity.  I am living proof that 180s are possible.  If every single person had given up on me the way many did, I do not know if I would be here today, much less be this much better now than I once was. 

I am always going to pay attention to your tone and your word choices.  It is how I am made, it is how I draw conclusions about the things that are said in my presence, and it is not going to change.  I don’t want it to.  I like that I take the time to really process a person’s words and their choice of tone while processing overall interactions.  I probably pick up on more in conversations and interactions than some people do.  And I may or may not overthink every little detail that I pick up.  Either way, I am aware of what is being said and what is left unsaid in most interactions. 

Lastly, not everyone has the ability to ask for love or attention when they really, really need it.  Pay attention to the ones you love.  Pay attention to their actions, their choices, their moods.  Even though they may not always know how to verbalize it, they may be dying inside for the smallest acknowledgement.  Give it to them, even if you are not sure they really need it.  It is always better to err on the side of love than to miss an opportunity to help someone. 

And that, my friends, is the end of this session of randomness.  I hope you enjoyed your moments with my thoughts.  And I really hope there are a few things in there that I am able to expand on at a later time. 

If no one has told you today, You Are Loved!  Remember that.