Let’s start at the beginning. I come from a line of women who are strong, stubborn, beautiful, generous, loyal, and practically unshakable. I come from a direct line of two women, my Granny and my Mom, who have consistently provided an example of what it means not only to be a woman, but especially what it means to be a mother.
Granny – your loving, giving, and persistent spirit have been a life-long goal to which I have always aspired. I don’t know if you ever think about your legacy, but I can promise you that it will be one to be proud of. You have lived your life with a selflessness that is refreshing and beautiful. Knowing that it is your blood that runs through my veins is an honor that I hold dear to my heart. On this Mother’s Day I hope that you count your triumphs in the countless ways you have touched, shaped, and loved every person blessed enough to know you.
Mom – I don’t know that there are words in the English language that are adequate to describe the way that I feel about having you as a mother. There are times that I truly believe that God showed me favor over others by delivering me specially to your womb. Regardless of any trial that came with being my mom for the past 39 years, you have remained steadfastly the most amazing woman I have ever known. Your quietly loyal, loving, supportive and understanding approach to life has given me the strength that I have needed to tackle every obstacle that has come my way. I can look in the mirror today and feel pride at the woman I have become; the credit for that lies considerably in your hands. You have loved and nurtured me through chaos, bad judgment, pain, joy, failure, and success without ever blinking an eye or wavering in your love. For that I will be eternally grateful and I will continue to count you as one of the greatest blessings of my life.
And then there’s me as a mom. There are a lot of emotions that I feel when I think about my designation as a mother. The first and most powerful is always gratitude. I don’t know much about God’s plan for my entire life, but I do know without question that He must really love me to allow me to be the woman that Alec, Chris, Colin, and Nick call Mom. No other relationship or circumstance in my life will ever compare to the precious blessing that is being their mommy.
While it is truly the hardest thing I have done or will ever do, it is also the single most rewarding. There is no comparison to the depth of feelings that spring from my heart when interacting with, watching, talking to, listening to, and loving my boys on a daily basis. I take my responsibilities as a mother seriously and I question myself and my choices often. Not that I am not confident that I am doing my best, it’s more that I understand the importance of helping to shape such beautiful lives and I want to do the very best that I can. I want God to look down at the work I am doing here with my boys and I want Him to feel pride in his daughter; I want him to know that through His love I am delivering back to Him four gorgeous souls. They are only mine for a short time, but they will always be His.
I have been given a tremendous ability to love. From people I barely know to those who reside within the same walls, I love many people very deeply and often very quickly. There could be a million different ways that I could distribute all of my love back into this world. I am abundantly grateful that one of the ways I get to distribute my love is through four healthy, unique, and amazing little boys. I hope that I perform my duties in a way that leads them to one day reflect on their mom and feel the way I feel when I reflect on mine. They may never know that regardless of how much they love me and are thankful for me, it will always pale in comparison to the way I feel about each and every one of them. But I can promise you this: they will always know that I love them infinitely and unconditionally.
I am not a perfect mother. But I feel a perfect love for four magnificent boys.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you beautiful ladies out there. You are doing an incredible job.
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