This Post is Pointless. Unless You Have the Answer to the Final Question.

I haven’t written in a week.  It is killing me that I haven’t written in a week.  But I am struggling with a failure to communicate issue between my brain and my hands.  Every time I think about something to write I will mentally compose some initial sentences in my head as I go about whatever it is I was already doing when the idea first struck.  

In my head the words string together effortlessly and beautifully.  It is as if some poetic magic is happening in my head and I should actually be mentally composing my Pulitzer acceptance speech rather some blog post.  And then, some length of time later, when I finally sit at the laptop to write what has been floating majestically through my head, this is what happens:

I write blog.  Blog is good.  Why are unicorns always white?  Why can’t some of them be purple, or pink, or chartreuse?  I wonder what Awesome Sauce would taste like.  Would it be sweet? Or maybe savory, and really delicious on chicken?  FOCUS!!  This blog post is about the kids. Wait.  Where are the boys?  Stop.  Listen.  Oh, OK, I hear arguing, All is well with the boys.  Nick needs some new pants.   And I think someone is going on a field trip sometime soon.  I remember field trips.  And tennis tournaments.  And telling people to “Buck up, little camper”.   And on and on.  

I remember when stream of consciousness was an assignment, not what happens to me when I am trying to write something with some substance and maybe a couple of sentences in a row that somewhat relate to one another.  It takes either an emotional motive or a funny one for me to write something at this point in my return to the art of writing.  Without either a funny or personal story to tell, I've got nothing.  Nothing, that is, except evidence of the chaos that has become my thought process at all times. 

For a while now I have struggled with the inability to quiet my mind.  I am not overcome with worry because I have learned not to waste time with that one.  He’s mean and pointless and not happening here.  But I am in a constant mode of thinking about something.  Perhaps it is the responsibility I feel to raise my boys the best I possibly can.  Perhaps it is the fact that there are so very many things that I want to do that I have yet to begin.  Perhaps it is some weird side effect of my brain having more room now to stretch out and work than it ever had before the tumor was taken out.  Perhaps it is too much Pinterest.  Who knows.  

And to be honest, I don’t really even need to know the answer because somehow in all the madness and chaos that is my thought process, I do come up with some really good ones. Really, I do.  If only they would stick around long enough to make it to the laptop.  I have heard that at the end of the day writers should ask themselves the following question: Did you write today?  Well, I may or may not be a “writer”, but I certainly wrote something today.  No one ever said it had to make any sense.  

Seriously though; what do you think Awesome Sauce would taste like?