Deep Down, There Really is a Hopeless Romantic in Me. It Just Takes Some Digging.

Well, I suppose it is inevitable that I write about the timeliest topic for right now.  No, not the Olympics; honestly I could not care less about what is happening in Sochi.  No, what I feel I should tackle here is Valentine’s Day.  I have a nontraditional attitude towards V-Day and I feel that perhaps I should explain myself before being branded as one of those man-hating, ice cream consuming, cry at my loneliness ladies that hate the day and everything that goes with it. Because the truth is that while I do not love Valentine’s Day, I do not hate it either.  

I simply believe now, as I have always, that love is something that should not be packaged on a shelf, coated in chocolate, and sprinkled with red rose petals, only to be consumed by those who need tangible reminders of that which is right in front of them all year long.  Love, my friends, is a verb.  Yes, I am aware that Webster would not agree with me here; it is indeed defined in the dictionary as a noun.  Regardless, I stand by MY definition.  Love is what we do. It is actions that are performed out of a sincere, deep affection for another person.  Love.  Is. A. Verb.  

Love has little to do with roses that are bought at the eleventh hour from some grocery store parking lot tent.  Love has little to do with overpriced chocolate covered strawberries.  Love has little to do with getting a February 14th reservation at the most romantic restaurant in town. While all of those things may be an expression of a person’s affection, they are not necessarily love.  When they are performed because of some predetermined Love Day Date, they lose all meaning to me.  Then they become like pretentious tokens of affection, and not necessarily sincere affection.   For some couples the Valentine’s Day ritual is more about a prove-you-love-me/look-at-how-much-I-spent-on-errr-I-mean-love-you showmanship that leaves me cold.

And in my opinion, and here is where I struggle with Valentine’s Day, no date on the calendar should be required to remind a person to love the person they love.  And no date on a calendar, whether embraced or ignored, should be the determining factor in whether someone really loves you.  Actions of love do not have a due date and no date should be so important that it demands flowers, or chocolate, or nice dinners that are just the two of you.  These things should be sprinkled throughout a relationship, not saved for one particular day.  

At the same time, there are those who truly enjoy the act of spending ridiculous amounts of money and time planning perfect Valentine’s Day events for their partner.  And if that is you, I am cool with that.  Just remember this: that same effort applied on a random Tuesday in July will have far more impact.  That same effort and those same feelings wrapped up in a pretty package after your partner has experienced a particularly rough week will mean more.

So, regardless of your opinion of Valentine’s Day, I still wish you all of the love your heart can handle.  I hope that your affection for the people you care about will be shown in the way you love them every single day, as well as on Valentine’s Day.  And if you are single on Valentine’s Day, you do not have to make the day an excuse to feel sad or eat a pint of mint chocolate chip while re-reading old love notes and mentally reliving the relationships of your past.  Seriously, you are better than that.  You are better than to let some consumption-driven holiday bring you down and mess with your mojo.  Sometimes we need the reminder that while romantic love may be lacking for the moment, there is still infinite love in all of our lives, if only we would look in the right places.

Sometimes being single on Valentine's Day is the best place for us to be.

Not that an eleventh hour bouquet of just-because-roses from a certain someone wouldn't be okay too.   ;)