I was looking at my yard this afternoon and among the
dreadfully yellow-brown landscape I saw little sprigs of new growth in shades of green
that have not been seen in many months. Ah, spring is on its way. And with it will come a little bit of hope
and relief for me.
Not because there are bright, sunny days with rising
temperatures coming in the near future. It
is definitely not that because I am a self-proclaimed heat wimp. The thought of warmer temperatures makes me
feel a little bit cranky. Actual warm
temperatures turn me into a crotchety old lady with nothing to do but whine and
complain about heat and sweating and ridiculously high utility bills. And temperatures that are actually in the range
of hot make me pissed off. They make the
words “bite me” fly much more frequently from my face because, when it is hot,
I am not a very pleasant person.
No, the thing about spring that I look forward to all winter
has nothing to do with the weather or the beautiful days. It is the return of green grass that I anxiously
await through all the gloriously cool days of winter.
It is green, healthy, non-dormant grass that does not stick to every
square inch of my boys’ clothes and shoes that I look forward to. It is floors that are not littered with the evidence
of every moment they spend rolling in the yard playing football or tag, or
their favorite game – Let’s Get as Much Grass on Us as We Can and Track it in
the House. I have never learned the
rules of this game, but I am pretty sure that points are awarded based on:
square footage covered, number of deep sighs made by mom, and how close they can get
me to using an actual swear word in their presence.
Yeah, that particular game drives me insane. But my boys are really, really good at
it. And who am I to squash their
talents? I do wonder why one of them can't discover a hidden talent for vacuuming, though.
I do not suffer from the winter depression that some people
claim is a thing. I do not feel lethargic
or act lazy during the winter months. On
the contrary, I actually accomplish much more when the weather is nasty or
cold. I do not desire afternoons lying
cozily wrapped in many blankets with a lovely fire crackling in the fireplace. Instead I accomplish all of the tasks that I was
just too hot for during other times of year.
Spring cleaning is for other people; I am all about the winter
cleaning. And winter crafts. And winter re-arrangement of every piece of
furniture in my home.
What I do suffer from, however, is the condition of being a
mother of four young boys. And because I
am who I am I also suffer from the anxiety that happens when I live in a
constant state of I-need-to-vacuum. In this house reside
one adult, four young boys, and three cats.
At any given moment there is a real need for vacuuming. So, I vacuum all the time.
I hate that stupid, ugly, yellow, sticky, and
ever-present winter grass that can be found all over the place and does not blend in
like regular dirt. Plain dirt can be
overlooked because it is brown. My
floors are mostly brown and I can get away with ignoring it for a spell. Dead, yellow grass cannot be overlooked. It mocks me from the floor, taunting me with
cruel reminders of how quickly and prolifically it can re-spawn. It makes me feel manic, and much like
a dog pointlessly chasing its tail, the only difference is it is me chasing
little shreds of ugly foliage with a vacuum wand.
And I know what thoughts are probably going through your
head right now. It is just some stupid
grass. Sweep it up and move on. It is just grass on the floor, just leave it
there; it won’t kill you to not vacuum it up for a day or two.
And if these are the types of thoughts that you are thinking
I have four boys who would love to come to your house and teach you a new
game. You guys play and have a good time
for a few weeks while I sit here and look longingly at tiny sprigs of green
grass through the window of my clean house.
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